I dropped Ethan off at Mother's Day Out today, like every Tuesday. Only today was different. Today was the first day that my mom has not been there. There have been days that she's been out of the office, not there yet or just busy. But today marked the first day of school that she no longer works there.
We walked in through the office as usual. But she wasn't at her desk. I knew she wouldn't be but Ethan didn't so he went looking for her.
Anyway, we arrived at his class and I told his teachers Mom was no longer there. They've always been able to get her if needed.
I left his class and walked back through the office. Normally, I would stop to say hi and chat for a while...being late to work on most days.
Then I started crying. I blame it partly on my hormones. Partly on the fact that I really enjoyed the 10 minutes of catching up each Tuesday and Thursday. But most of it had to do with the fact that it was the first time I have dropped off Ethan without her there. She's been my security blanket. When Ethan was an infant she updated me everyday just so I wouldn't worry. As he grew older she'd call to tell me a funny story or how his classmates call her "Ethan's Mimi".
So, today was like Ethan's first day. And it was harder than I expected.
Also, it makes me not look forward to the first day of kindergarten. Like, at all.
4 comments:
awe... im sorry.
at least now you will be a little more ok with it when he DOES go to kindergarden.
That's how I felt when I worked at the I-High and got to see my Mom in the mornings. I guess I was a little old, but she was still my security blanket!
Honey! It's the hormones, probably.
Girl...there's just no other way to look at it. Being a mommy is HARD. And wonderful. And hard. And a blessing. And hard!
Hang in there.
I didn't know your mom stopped working at the church. :(
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